You may remember my ditzy Fairy Godmother from such escapades as Conference Cinderella and Fairy Nuff (Blog entry September 29, 2006).
Well she appeared again recently in response to a time of need.
This time she looked quite like a mayfly as she sat trapped in the string mesh covering a leg of ham.
“I am quite hamstrung by all these regulations”, she wailed.
“What is the problem?” I asked.
“Whatever I want to do I need a permit or a certificate or a qualification. It is just not fair! Why don’t they just let me get on with granting wishes?”
I fought the desire to say “Because you are not very good at it. Your heart is in the right place but you are just not very efficient”
“Anyway, enough about me dear! What are you wishing?”
“It’s Conference time again and I can’t afford to go”
“Well, I could turn this lettuce into a pile of money (green stuff, you know) or I could turn this bread into dough; but last time I did that I was taken into custardy (sic!) for counterfeiting. That was a sticky situation, I can tell you!”
“And now there are all the Food Handling Regulations and the Use by Dates. If you miscalculate, things can change back before the proper time. And I can’t always get the dates. It is getting harder as I get older!”
“In fact I can’t really do too much until I qualify for the Super Sparkle Wand. If you have a Super Sparkle people really take notice of you; and you can be much more effective, even if what you do is just the same as before“
“Why don’t you complete your Super Sparkle then?” I asked.
“Because while I’m doing that I would have to take time off from being your Fairy Godmother” she said with a big sigh